Robot Assistant

You must be living under a rock if you haven’t heard all the warnings about robots taking over everywhere. We are told that at every turn, automatons and mechanical contrivances are about to reshape the worker’s landscape and threaten our very ability to make a living. As near as I can figure the prediction goes something like this:

  1. Manufacturing is taken over by robots
  2. Service is accomplished by robots
  3. Domestic chores are relegated to robots
  4. Military defense and warfare will be conducted by robots
  5. The world is run by robots

Regardless of what the future may hold concerning the soon replacement of people’s endeavors with artificial replicants, here is a possible happy alternative:

Hire a robot.

Find a suitable stand-in for yourself of a synthetic variety and send them out each day to work. You may have to compensate them in some fashion – a case of CRC-QD Contact Cleaner, six-packs of WD-40, a lifetime subscription to ‘Nuts and Volts‘ magazine, perhaps even some form of pay or commission on the income produced by their labors. But at the very least your days will be freed up considerably for relaxation and fun.

And while awaiting the Singularity which by all accounts should be here soon, we at ELVIS SWIFT Dry Goods & Supply are trying to get ahead of this and actively looking for a robot assistant.

We’ll keep you posted.