Essays
And Yarns

Quote of the Week

September 23 2021

“It turns out I’m not paranoid after all.”

-Anonymous

Quote of the Week

August 28 2021

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”

-Albert Einstein

Quote of the Week

August 5 2021

“A cloud is made of billows upon billows upon billows that look like clouds. As you come closer to a cloud you don’t get something smooth, but irregularities at a smaller scale.”

Benoit Mandelbrot

Drawing Lesson No.11

August 4 2021

Once again, we feel compelled to advance the act of drawing and impart a few anecdotal tips to that end. Hence, Drawing Lesson No.11 is presented here forthwith. Our subject is the United States founding father and first president, George Washington. The purpose of the drawing was to create a picture of Washington as an as yet undiscovered historical document.

There are countless examples of drawings, paintings, and engravings of Mr. Washington to choose from and study his likeness for this exercise. I figure as long as you get certain aspects of a person’s likeness about right, you’ll capture their image sufficient to identify them. The simple ink drawing is pretending to be a quick sketch by an artist (perhaps Remington Peale) done in preparation for a final painting. As a last touch, if the likeness is not perfect, we put George’s signature on the tattered page so that there is no doubt as to whose portrait this is.

In conclustion:

  1. Find a tattered piece of paper.
  2. Get a bottle of ink and a pen.
  3. Draw a person’s portrait.
  4. Label the drawing with the person’s name, so there is no doubt the identity.

There you have it, drawing lesson No.11

Écran d’urinoir Numéro 2

August 3 2021

This posting is titled in French because I felt the English sounded too coarse. ‘Urinal Screen Number 2’ simply doesn’t have the same ring to it as ‘Écran d’urinoir Numéro 2′. In any event, I’m testing Mr. Swift’s patience with me yet again. If you recall, the last time we pursued this line of advertising, it cost me my job. However, the dismissal from my post here at ELVIS SWIFT Dry Goods & Supply as Marketing Director was short-lived. My reinstatement was partly due to Elvis’ kindly demeanor and partly due to his reliance upon me for almost everything needed doing around here. Thus, we are testing the waters once again with this line of advertising. In any event, the French titling may persuade Mr. Swift that the urinal screen with our logo emblazoned on it is acceptable this time around, as he loves all things France. And I ordered another gross of them. If not, I’m sure my job as Marketing Director is ‘Fini.’

Jack A. Molloy
Marketing Director
ELVIS SWIFT Dry Goods & Supply