Archive | Ramblings

Monsieur Molloy a été rétrogradé
A note from Mr. Swift

While I always applaud our staff’s ingenuity and creative ideas here at ELVIS SWIFT Dry Goods & Supply, there are limits. I want to address a recent posting here on our Essays and Yarns. You may have seen ‘Écran d’urinoir Numéro 2’ and wondered if Mr. Molloy could slip this one past me because of the French wording or if I’d catch it and fire him. First, I like the French title, but that’s about as far as it goes. We are, after all, a ‘Dry Goods’ company. DRY goods. So promoting us in this fashion – a wet location – not to mention the type of wetness seems wholly out of place. And the exposure is way too gender-specific. This effort is the second urinal screen Jack has contracted and distributed to advertise our store and products. Apparently, as he travels the U.S. procuring supplies and visiting vendors, he has placed these in various businesses’ bathroom urinals nationwide. If you encounter one of the screens, please retrieve and return to us promptly.

Attn: ART Department
ELVIS SWIFT Dry Goods & Supply
2371 Linwood Ave, Room 109
Naples, FL 34112

‘Monsieur’ Molloy is placed on leave temporarily, and if and when he may come back to work, we’ll let you know.